Trying to help and making matters worse

Where to begin? Struggling this morning with trying to help a beloved daughter go through a break up. At one point or another in our lives we’ve all experienced this. You know how it feels. Whether on the receiving end or the sending. It hurts. It’s grief and pain and loneliness. When you try to help someone feel better, it’s with the hope they will be OK soon. When you go through the pain, the days are infinitely long and dreadful. We forget about that later, after the time has passed, and came out the other side as a survivor. The problem is remaining patient, while the suffering person suffers. You want the suffering to end quickly and renewed optimism to burst through the surface of sadness. When our impatience and worry doesn’t allow time for the grief to evolve naturally, that’s when you unintentionally hurt the other person’s feelings and make matters worse. Now, they’re upset with you and trust is lost. I guess time truly is the best healer. That, and being a good listener. Less talking is more helpful.


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